Let me tell you a story.
When I was 16 I was in a wreck with my first car. Crumpled the front end of my beloved old Dodge. There I am on the side of the road wondering what I’m gonna do and suddenly my Dad shows up. There were no cell phones back then, news just spread through the grapevine like that back then. He asked me if I was all right, then told me “It’s just a car, it can be fixed, son.”
A wrecker pulled it home, and Dad brought me to the house. I had to work that night down at Big Daddy’s grocery, but I didn’t want to go. My dad told me “Having a wreck doesn’t mean you don’t have to go to work. You still have responsibilities.” So when it was time he came back and picked me up for work and took me.
As soon as I could I had my car pulled around back of the house at the garage. After finally prying the hood open I saw all the front end damage. the whole doghouse of the car was pushed up into the motor, and the radiator fan was was all the way up in the motor. I had no idea what to do. I tried pry-bars, hammers, and everything else to pull the front end back out, but I was stumped. I had no idea how to work on cars!
So here comes my dad walking from the house when I had reached my wits end. He takes a look at the front end under the hood and says “You can take a come-a-long winch and wrap it around that tree over there and pull this back out straight.” He showed me where I would need to chain things off, and explained how he would do it. It was the end of the day, I had done everything I could do, and I didn’t have a winch or even really know what a come-a-long was.
So I get home from school the next day and sitting right inside the door of my room on the floor was a come-a-long winch, a brand new one. I called mom at the salon and asked her about it, but she had no idea. Dad had already gone to the mines for second shift, and she said “I guess your dad must have picked it up for you.”
I took my brand new winch, read the directions, and like magic I pulled the front end of that car back out. My old man had known exactly what to do, and his directions had worked like a charm.
Now that I had the radiator back where it was supposed to be I was able to start pulling off all the bent up body panels, so I went digging through my dad’s tools in the garage to find what I needed. I had no idea what I was doing, but it seemed pretty self explanatory. Take out all the bolts, and pull the bent fenders off.
Nope, nothing is ever that simple.
The next day I go to school, and when I get home sitting where the winch had been was a cardboard box full of tools. They were your basic variety-store cheap tools, but there was a bit of everything. Ratchet sets, screwdrivers, pliers, vise grips, and wrenches. Once again I called the salon to ask mom, because dad was under ground on second shift. I got the same answer. “I don’t know, must have been your dad.”
I worked on that car every chance I got. When I wasn’t at school, work, or whatever sports practice, game or tournament, I was out trying to get that car apart so I could put it back together. I — for the first time — had my own tools, and I was learning as I go.
I started having trouble getting some of the last front end pieces off, I simply didn’t understand how it had went together, and I was getting stumped. I don’t know if I said something about it to dad (That’s been almost 30 years ago now) or he was going out and checking on my progress while I was at school, but sure enough I cam home from school one day and sitting in my room was a huge Chilton’s manual for my car. It was the “Everything you need to know to fix everything on the car” book, and it was specifically for my model of car. Dad had struck again with what I needed.
With that book I was able to get my car all apart — and when I had new parts from a junkyard — put it all back together again. Every other problem I had later, as is with old cars, with a bit of advice from dad, that book and those tools, I was able to do everything I needed to do.
That teenage experience with that old mopar car and my dad taught me a lot about living life. Bad things can happen, but you still have responsibilities. If you don’t how to do something, open up a book or manual and learn.If your going to do something, make sure you have the proper tools, and when all else fails ask some advice from someone who has more knowledge than you. (And also, give your kid his own tools so he stays out of yours!)
My dad is the smartest man I know, and is one hell of a mechanic. He could have just as easily pushed me to the side and fixed my car for me, but he didn’t. Instead, he gave me the knowledge, the tools, and the advice to do it myself. He let me do it myself. If I had asked for him to help or fix it for me he probably would have, but I am glad I didn’t. I learned so much more fixing that old car on my own.
The whole of my adult has been much the same. something in my life gets wrecked up, and I take responsibility and fix it. If I don’t know how, I find a book and get the knowledge. If I don’t have the proper tools, I find them. When I can’t get it figured out on my own, my dad still has the answer if I ask. I don’t always listen to — or like — his advice, but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong, even to this day.
Especially this day, because this day is my Dad’s Birthday. He is a year older, a year wiser, and I am sure as hell glad he is still around to let me fix my own wrecks.
Happy Birthday, Dad. I love ya.
Neil
