Tonight I had a wake up call of sorts. I am back on the Jiujitsu mat again, and I am really enjoying it. for me and my trainer there are a lot of challenges because of my being..erm… two feet shorter than everyone else. Some things work great for me, and some things don’t. I have a few advantages, but a lot of disadvantages, so it is kind of give and take.
Tonight, was a bit rough on me. I wont go into a bunch of technique talk, because that is not the point I want to make tonight, really. Suffice it to say that I couldn’t do things the way i wanted to, my workout partner and my trainer both had to help me figure out alternatives, and there weren’t a lot to choose from. :/
I got mad, really mad at myself for not being able to just do it like everyone else, and I crawled off the mat a bit frustrated. A lot frustrated, actually.
As I got my legs on and my gi and gear packed up and was about to walk out when my trainer, Eric, asked (as always) “did you learn anything tonight?” and then followed that up immediately with “frustrated, huh? Hey, there’s ups and downs, tonight was just a down.”
Like a great big smack in the backside of my forehead a thought came to mind and I had to tell him that yea, I was frustrated, but…. two years ago I was lying in a hospital bed wondering how I would ever get into even a wheelchair, and now I am wondering how to accomplish some of these moves on the mat.
Needless to say, I felt much better after walking out the door. I actually thought about it all the way home. Two years ago my sick and broken body was lying in the hospital, and I didn’t even know when I would ever go home again. A year and a half ago I was given a pair of what felt like stilts and I wondered how I would ever walk on the damned things. A year ago I wondered how I would ever make it a day walking on campus for college without giving out. Six months ago I wondered how the hell I was ever going to keep myself up on a motorcycle…
And now? Now I’m wondering how to work past having no legs and only one hand to grip with on the Jiujitsu mat.
See the theme here? Problems are all in perspective…. when I woke up from my coma I had to push a button just so someone would come put a bed pan under me so I could go to the bathroom! Do you know how frustrating that was? I now have that same level of frustration at a problem so utterly small in comparison.
I got through those other things, and all the other little problems I had because I didn’t give up…. I owned those problems. I bought them lock, stock, and barrel. I didn’t put them on lay-a-way to pick up at a later time, I put my name on them, and then I freaking owned them!
I am telling you this because tonight it just seemed so profound to me the paradigm shift in what I consider frustrations and problems, and I want you to know that whatever problems are so bad in your life right now… Well… Two years from now, they are not going to be problems. Now don’t get me wrong, here. This isn’t a “my problems are bigger than yours so quit crying” thing. Don’t you dare feel bad about being frustrated over your problems, or compare them to mine. We all deal with our own demons, and I can’t compare mine to yours, and vice-verses.
What I am saying is, own your problem. sign it on the dotted line, square it away, and put it away, so you can move onto the next thing that will surely frustrate you. If you don’t own it, it will never be yours to put away. This is not something you can try to do, this is something you either do, or don’t do.
Do, or do not… there is no try….
Own it… I did…. you can too….